The past year has been tough. My dog died, my father died, and my husband is still recovering from a massive widowmaker
heart attack. I've also shared grief at friends' funerals, prayed during loved ones' surgical procedures, and encountered some of the most sickening aspects of evil in our society. And that's not nearly all, by any stretch of the imagination. This 'trip around the sun' has been shockingly eye-opening to say the least.
But, to quote Bethel Music, Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You. And through it all, through it all, it is well.
I've recently come to realize that when trouble arrives at your doorstep and the fear of death begins to knock, it doesn't just politely ring the bell. It comes yelling and screaming like a tantrum-throwing maniacal banshee, breaking windows, throwing the welcome mat into the yard, kicking over planter boxes, plucking up the flowers, and ripping address numbers off the house. Fear can be a formidable foe. But even though it may be formidable, it is nonetheless eternally defeated by the power of the Most High, One True, Living God.
I once had a dream that a ferocious-looking black demon dog with glowing eyes came charging toward me snarling, showing its teeth, and barking as loudly and viciously as it could. Startled, I had faced the dog as it stopped without touching me and looked it directly in the face, eye to eye and cheek to cheek. It challenged me by asking who I was, and I said seething, I am a Christian. I love Christ! And you can't stop me from talking!
The weapons of my warfare during these excruciatingly difficult past twelve months are mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
(2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Rather than trembling in a corner and cowering to the fear that kept growling at me day after day after day, I was desperate to grab hold of the peace of God, which passes all understanding
(Philippians 4:7). I often verbally, audibly, and decisively repeated statements like, I REFUSE to live in fear of losing Scott!
I declared it over and over and over again ... sometimes with streams of tears running down my face, sometimes in emotionally charged bouts of extreme frustration, and once as I accidentally fell asleep with my head leaning on a wall in sheer physical and mental exhaustion.
When Scott came home from the hospital, I deliberately chose to keep my mind focused on a hopeful expectation of goodness rather than succumbing to the temptation of agreeing with an otherwise grim prognosis. Don't get me wrong, that task was not an easy one. I worked to keep my emotions in check by bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ
(2 Corinthians 10:5). I frequently reminded myself, God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind
(2 Timothy 1:7). I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father is incomprehensibly kind, exceedingly benevolent, and infinitely powerful in ways we cannot even begin to imagine. He is the source of all wisdom, loves each of us beyond measure, and delights in giving good gifts to His children.
So, with that in mind, we keep moving forward, right? We keep advancing and taking ground for the kingdom of God. We refuse to let darkness have any place in our midst. We resolutely resist the devil [so] he will flee from you
(James 4:7). And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not
(Galatians 6:9). Regardless of the tribulation we experience in this life, we can rest assured that, through Christ, we have full access to the promised blessing that no weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper ... this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord.
(Isaiah 54:17).
My very favorite verse in the entire Bible is Luke 12:32 which says, Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
This is how I fight my battles. And it's exactly how He'll fight yours too.
